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ODOUR OF OCTOBER...,,

ODOUR OF OCTOBER,, Amidst all the humdrums of the office hours,the ear bleeding horns in the traffic,the long hours mouth aching lectures,the grapevine talks during the breaks,I again felt like a cigarette.Paying this thought a real color I left off  for it to a nearby cafe.As I entered the cafeteria i wanted to order a cappuccino with some extra strong nicotine.Along with that thought I lit a cigarette ,puffing up the say around third or fourth  puff my eyes fell on the other table around me which was valentined by the crimson color in the cheeks of the lovely teenaged couple. Quite unaware of my presence they were having a good time together.It was too difficult for me to align all the thoughts I was going through at that time.probably derrida,camus,lawrence ,plath,sartre,jung were quoting in the back up my mind.lo..what a stress,may be stress has become the new fad.Apart from the mental shifting of moods .   Having finished it i had my 2 rest lectures in the bsc.Then at the end
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Absence of meaning is presence of a new meaning.The whole world is just a spatio temporal meaningless space that starts with a quest for meaning and ends with the same..In my last post I was talking about darkness right,the search for a pure complete self in the darkness.If we see it round the other way then,well I would say the absence of light defines the presence of darkness & the absence of darkness is presence of light .In this context I would say that the play of the particular search for a fixed point is so interesting and inviting.Its like an unending mirage seducing the reader/audience/baby/artist/drunkard/philosopher/poet/lunatic to the same direction may be every person whom i had mentioned is called an ordinary common man in this world.well "Memory" is hence what we remember and presence exists primarily in one's unconscious horizon when something is being remembered.(As I had already discussed about it in my previous post).Memory is so tantalizing,memory means remembrance not oblivion or forgetfullness.I don't know with what should I conclude with?A "search", "meaning", "memory".forgetfulness" or "broken trauma"?

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Reminiscene..the very word forget itself is a paradox in itself.As the more you try to be oblivious,you are prone to be more remindful of the events,incidents,people ,faces,travels and whatever is concerned.I am as people define me to be too moody with my temper lost in my own island at times try to figure out the forgotten beautiful vibes of past that still reverberates on my mind.I had been undergoing a writer's block since before some years due to some mental issues.Anyways apart from the designed ups and downs of life i would like to pen down my thoughts here in my blog..stay in touch ..thanks..

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